Four

Ruth’s mother was even less pleased when, over the next few days, half the town came shuffling in, asking to see the baby. “I knew those shepherds were trouble, prattling on about angels and whatnot,” she said. She tried to keep the visitors away, saying that mother and child needed rest. Joseph too was protective. But Mary was calm and welcomed the visitors who did make it past her watchful guardians, showing off her baby with pride and love.

A month after the child was born, Mary, Joseph and the baby prepared to travel to the temple in Jerusalem, to dedicate him to God and give thanks Mary’s safety after childbirth. “Will you take a lamb as sacrifice?” Ruth asked, thinking of the shepherds- and especially, truth be told, of Joshua, the young shepherd.

“We can’t afford a lamb,” Mary said. “But the law says we may take two doves or young pigeons instead, so that will be all right. We will come back here afterwards if we may. I don’t feel ready yet for the long journey back to Nazareth. And Joseph has been offered some carpentry work here in Bethlehem. You have all been so kind.” She looked up at Ruth’s mother, who was bringing food.

“Well, I hope all folk would be kind to a young woman in your situation,” Ruth’s mother replied. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need.”

*****

A few days later at dusk, Ruth was yet again collecting water when she saw Mary and Joseph coming back up the road to Bethlehem. She hurried back to the house to tell her mother, and was ready to set water for washing and food and drink in front of them when they arrived. Joseph ate and drank quietly, as if he had something on his mind. Mary fed the crying baby and soothed him to sleep, before sitting down wearily herself to eat.

“I’m so tired,” she said to Ruth. “Not just from the walking, but Jerusalem is so busy, so many people all with things to do and places to go. The temple especially, with all the money changers, the animal sellers, the people shouting and crying out for money, or to sell you things- it is hard to focus on God. Especially when you are a woman and cannot go into the inner court.”

“You saw the priest, and offered sacrifice, though?” Ruth’s mother said.

“Yes.” Mary turned as the baby began to cry again, and picked him up. “Oh my child, will you not let your mother eat in peace?”

“Let me hold him while you eat,” Ruth said. “Maybe he just wants to know someone’s there.”

“Yes, try if you like,” Mary said, handing the baby over. Ruth rocked him gently, looking down at the tiny face and wondering why it reminded her of her dream- the mysterious feeling of love mixed with sadness.

Calmed by the human touch, the baby soon went back to sleep, and Ruth carried on holding him while Mary and Joseph ate. Mary looked over at him.

“He’s a beautiful child, Joseph,” she said softly.

“All babies are, to women,” Joseph said, but with a softness in his own voice that showed he really agreed with Mary.

“All the things that the old man said- and the old woman. Do you really think they will come true?”

“If it is God’s will, I suppose they must,” Joseph replied.

“What things? Was this when you were at the temple?” Ruth asked.

“Yes,” Mary said. “There was an old man there- Simeon, I think his name way- I think he was a priest. He said beautiful things about the child- like a prophecy. That he will be the glory of Israel, and a light to those who are not Israelites, so that they may see God. And there was an old woman, Anna. They say she practically lives at the temple, praying and fasting and worshipping God. She knew too, and told others who were worshipping with her. We were the centre of attention for a few minutes.” Mary smiled. “I don’t think the other priests were too happy about it.”

“Well, it’s all very nice, but for most of us all we can hope for is that our children will be good as they grow and take care of us in our old age,” Ruth’s mother said. “I hope he will be a blessing to you both, as he grows. And now I’m off to bed, and so should you be, after your journey.” She left the room.

Ruth looked up at Mary. “He’s certainly attracted a lot of attention for such a little baby! And I think he’s beautiful too. I’m sure people will always love him.”

“I hope so.” But Mary’s face was troubled. “The old man we saw today- he said the child will cause the rising and falling of many in Israel. I think he will have a hard time of it, when he grows up. And he told me that a sword will pierce my own soul, too.”

“A sword! Did he mean there will be a battle? Against the Legions?”

“I don’t think he meant a real sword. I think he meant a great sorrow.” Mary reached out for the child, who was waking up, with tears in her eyes. “May God give me the strength to bear it.”

Ruth went to bed very thoughtful. Mary and Joseph clearly believed their child was special. Ruth might have dismissed that- after all, didn’t all parents think their child was special?- if it wasn’t for the shepherds, and for that strange feeling that came over her whenever she saw the child. Who was he, this child who old men and women greeted with joy and prophesy?

Three

Ruth looked up and saw that it was one of the local shepherds. Behind him were several of the other shepherds. She didn’t know them other than by sight- they were a rough bunch, spending most of their time out in the fields with their sheep, and most of the townspeople avoided them. She shrank back, wondering if she should call for help.

But the shepherd she had walked into stepped back. “Sorry, miss,” he said. “We...we were looking for a baby what’s just been born. We was told to come and find him.” He looked round at the other shepherds. “Sounds daft when you say it, doesn’t it?”

Ruth stared at them. How did they know?

“The whole thing’s daft,” an old shepherd said. “Angels, Messiah, baby in a manger- if I hadn’t seen and heard it all I’d have thought there was something up with you, to say we should leave the sheep alone like this in the middle of the night.”

“Well, we’re here now,” a young shepherd said. “At least let’s see if there is a baby.”

“There is a baby here, born last night,” Ruth said. “But he’s asleep. And...I don’t understand, how do you know? And what do you want with the baby?”

“I told you, the angels told us,” the first shepherd said.

“They appeared to us while we were in the fields,” said the younger one. “I know it sounds unbelievable, but really they did. First one came and told us that the Messiah had been born as a baby, and was lying, wrapped in cloths, in a manger here in Bethlehem. Then a whole load more turned up and sang to us about glory and peace. It...it was, I can’t describe it, but it was wonderful.”

The old shepherd chipped in. “So we left our flocks and come here to see him, and there’ll be hell to pay if the sheep aren’t all there when we get back. Them priests won’t believe any stories about angels.”

Ruth still stared. Then she heard a faint sound behind her. The baby’s cry. “I think you’d better wait here while I go and ask if you can see him.”

*****

Mary was just lifting the baby from the feedbox as Ruth opened the door. Joseph was rubbing bleary eyes. How on earth was she going to explain to them what was going on? She wasn’t even sure herself.

“How is he?” she asked. Mary smiled. “Hungry, I think,” she said, guiding the baby towards nourishment. “What is your name? I didn’t ask last night.”

“I’m Ruth.”

“I must thank you for your kindness to us last night- yours and your mother’s- is she your mother? You look just like her.”

“Yes, she is my mother. And I didn’t do anything much.” Ruth realised she had dropped the bucket when the shepherds startled her and left it outside, still unfilled. “I was going to get water this morning but- there’s some people outside who want to see you.”

“People?” Joseph sat up hurriedly.

“Shepherds. It’s a bit odd. They say- they say angels appeared to them and told them to come and find this baby.” Mary and Joseph looked at one another.

“So it is real,” Joseph muttered under his breath.

“Let them come in,” Mary said, smoothing her child’s hair.

“Mary- is that a good idea? I mean, shepherds can be a bit rough-” Joseph objected.

“If our Lord told them to come, who are we to turn them away?” Mary replied. “They won’t do us harm, Joseph. Remember what it was like to be visited by an angel! We can’t turn them away. Besides, this is David’s town, and David was a shepherd before he became king.” She looked up at her husband with playful love. “Anyway, you’ll protect us, won’t you?” Joseph blushed.

“Let them in please, Ruth,” Mary said.

Joseph stood protectively behind Mary, watchful, as the shepherds gathered round the feedbox where Mary had laid the baby down. He gurgled happily as the rough-hewn men peered down at him.

“What’s his name?” one of the shepherds asked Joseph. Joseph looked at Mary.

"Jesus," he said. She smiled.

"Ah, that's like our young lad here," the old shepherd said, indicating the youngest of the shepherds who had spoken to Ruth. He was only a couple of years older than her, she thought, and quite good looking, in a rough sort of way.

"My name's Joshua," he said. "It means the same thing, doesn’t it, 'God saves'?"

"Yes." Mary looked thoughtfully at her son. “It’s a good name.”

“The angels said he was the messiah, come to save us.” The old shepherd cleared his throat. “I heard the teachers in Jerusalem saying as how the messiah would drive out the foreign Legions of Rome and clear their foulness from our land, and make Israel great again. But I don’t see how a babe can do that.”

“He’s a baby now, but he’ll grow,” one of the other shepherds said. “Don’t you go disbelieving angels, old Benjamin. Young lambs grow into old rams before you know it.”

*****

Ruth's mother was not pleased to find a bunch of dirty shepherds in the house when she got up. After a busy day and little sleep she was not in the best of tempers anyway, especially when she discovered that there was no water. But she bit her tongue for the sake of the new parents, contending herself with shooing the shepherds away as soon as she politely could, the old shepherd still grumbling. Ruth went out with them to retrieve the water bucket.

"Can I do that for you?" the young shepherd called Joshua asked, taking the bucket. He was back quickly with the water and set it down in the courtyard.

"Thank you," Ruth said. Then she asked the question she had been longing to know the answer to since she first heard their story. "Did you really see angels? What were they like?"

"Yes, we really saw them. They were-" he hesitated. "I can't really describe them, but they were wonderful. Bright, with wings- at least I think so- and beautiful. Almost too beautiful really, it was hard to look at them. And the singing! Nothing could be like it, not even the music at the temple."

"What did they sing about?"

"Glory to God, and peace on earth. And somehow when they were singing I felt like- like maybe there could be peace, and justice, and an end to sadness-" He broke off. "But there won't be any peace for me if I don't get back to the fields. Goodbye- God bless you!" He hurried off after the older shepherds, leaving Ruth very thoughtful. Who was he, this child whose birth was announced by angels and shepherds?

Two

There were weary hours of watching. Ruth dozed in a corner, waking every now and then as Mary cried in pain. Her mother had tried to persuade Joseph that a childbirth was no place for the father, but to Ruth’s surprise, and Mary’s obvious relief, he had refused to leave his wife among strangers, even kind ones. He had stayed beside Mary, mostly silent, but encouraging her when he could find the words.

The night seemed endless, but at last her mother whispered that it would not be long now. More cries, more encouragement, and suddenly there it was in the dim light of the lamp, small, covered in blood and slime, crying out at leaving the warm comfort of it’s mother for the cold, hard yet wonderful world. Her mother gently wrapped the baby in a blanket and gave it to Mary, who clutched it to her breast with tears on her cheeks. Joseph congratulated her and the words brought tears from him too.

The tension that had been building up in Ruth was suddenly released, and she felt tears in her own eyes as she helped her mother tidy up. She kept turning to look at the tiny scrap of humanity held in the young mother’s arms. She saw the father take the baby gingerly and look into his eyes, as if searching for something. Then he gave him back to the mother and sat down wearily. Ruth realised that she was tired too, now it was over. All that waiting and watching and now- what?

Her mother saw her yawning. “Off to bed with you, and sleep while you can,” she said, then pulled her daughter close for a kiss. “Good night, daughter mine.”

*****

Ruth slept for a while, but her dreams were strange, full of babies and lamplight and tears and- something else. That nameless sense Ruth had felt, the anticipation of something to come, something exciting and joyful and yet- there was more than that in it. Behind the joy and wonder there was pain, and sorrow, and darkness. And somehow they were all part of it.

That feeling was still with her when she woke, in darkness but with the sense that day was near. She lay trying to remember the dream. Pain, and yet joy too. It didn’t make sense- how could you be sad and happy at the same time?

And then she remembered her own mother’s face as she had helped Mary. Ruth had no brothers, only her older sister Miriam, who was married now. But there had been other babies. One had died when he was only a few days old, another, she could just remember, when he was nearly a year. And another had been born too early, and had never even taken a breath. Ruth had been too little at the time to know what was happening, but Miriam had told her afterwards. And then her father had died, and there had been no more babies. Ruth had seen her mother look at little boys in the street sometimes with a wistful look, and sometimes a tear. She had given the baby last night the same look, and yet she had been happy, happy for the parents and happy at having helped bring the child into the world. Sad, and happy too.

And Mary, she had been in pain, even after the child was born, and yet there had been joy too, and peace. And Joseph- what had he been looking for in the baby’s eyes? There had been pain there, although hidden from Mary, and yet love.

Ruth yawned, gave up trying to sleep, and got up carefully so as not to disturb her mother. She needed some fresh air. Besides, they’d used all the water she’d got last night to clean up and wash the baby, and they would need more for breakfast.

She tiptoed into the room to get the bucket. Mary was lying asleep on the straw, Joseph sat beside her slumped over as if he had tried to stay awake and failed. Ruth crept over to look into the feedbox where they had laid the baby. He slept soundly, wrapped up in cloths on a pile of hay.

Outside the first hint of day was in the sky. It was chilly, and Ruth pulled her cloak closely around her face. Still thinking about the baby and the dream she turned out of the courtyard and walked straight into a man- tall and with rough clothes. Fear gripped her- what was he doing lurking at the entrance to their home at this time of night? And what was he going to do to her?

One

She looked so tired, Ruth thought, hurrying through the crowded room. As she placed a meal before some of the other guests she couldn’t help stealing another glance at the young women huddled at the other end of the room, silent and drawn as if with pain. Her husband- if that was what he was- stood beside her, looking worried and helpless.

As Ruth threaded her way through the throng back to the cooking pots, she saw the other women in the room looking at the young woman and whispering. She saw that the level of water in the big jug was low, and, sighing, picked up the bucket to go and fetch more. Her mother was standing by the door, talking to another local woman. “I don’t know where we’re going to put them all, I really don’t,” Ruth heard her saying. “And that poor thing at the back, she’s ready to pop, and what we’ll do if she goes into labour I really don’t know. It would be alright if it was just women, but with all the men around! It’s not right, I say. She should have stayed at home, census or not.”

It was dark beyond the courtyard, and Ruth paused to feel the cool breeze, welcome after the heat of the crowded room. It was quieter too. She didn’t pause for long though. Lingering in the streets after dark was not something a respectable young woman should do, and Ruth was old enough to be blamed if anything happened. But she had no brothers, and someone had to fetch water. Quickly she headed towards the well in the next street, drew water, and turned to head back.

That was when she felt it. There was something different in the air tonight. Something- waiting. Ruth shivered in the cool air, and gazed into the darkness, afraid of what she might glimpse. But...no, it wasn’t a fearful tension, like you got when you knew you’d done something wrong and were waiting to be punished. It was more like...like when you were a small child, the night before a feast-day, when you could smell the festival food cooking and see best clothes being laid out and could hardly sit still for excitement.

Ruth shook herself, pulled her cloak closer around herself and hurried home with the water.

*****

The room was still hot, but a little less crowded as the guests began to go to their rooms. Ruth looked over at the young woman on the straw at the animals’ end of the room. She was leaning back against the wall, eyes closed, tense. Occasionally she would move, as if to try to find relief from pain, and moan, but mostly she was silent. The man stood beside her, holding her hand, looking nervous and unsure what to do.

Her mother bustled into the room and joined Ruth in clearing up the plates and cups. Ruth could see that she too was keeping an eye on the couple at the other end of the room. The last of the guests went to find their beds, and the fire burned low.

Suddenly the young woman cried out in pain.

Ruth’s mother was beside her in a moment, pushing the tongue-tied husband gently to one side. “There, my dear, it’s all right, it’s just the early pains. I could see you were near labour when you came in. It’s hard, isn’t it dear, and I’m afraid it gets worse before it gets better. But you’re young and strong, and when you hold the child in your arms it will be worth it all, it will indeed.”

“I’m sorry,” the young girl cried. “It’s my first, I don’t know what to do, and I’m so tired, and...and scared.”

“Bless you dear, you’ll be all right. Don’t fight the pains, just let it happen. Now you just lay back and I’ll go and find some blankets.” She stood up, almost tripping over the father who still hovered uncertainly at his wife’s side, and looked at her daughter. “Build the fire up, Ruth, and put some water on to heat. And get them something to drink.”

Ruth hurried to put more wood on the fire and to pour the wine and water. When she brought it the father was kneeling beside the young woman. The woman was clutching his hand.

“Oh Joseph, it’s coming, I know it is. But what if I can’t- what if something goes wrong?”

At last the man found his tongue.

“I don’t know, Mary, but, well, this is no ordinary child, is it? Our Lord has done this- surely He will be with you now.”

Ruth put the wine and water on a stool beside them. The woman called Mary’s face was drawn with pain and tiredness, and the man called Joseph was a picture of anxiety, but there was something else about them. Ruth couldn’t quite work out what it was, but it reminded her of the strange feeling she had felt by the well.

Her mother returned, carrying blankets and towels. “Fetch a lamp Ruth, we’ll need to see what we’re doing.” Ruth brought a clay oil lamp and placed in on the stool by the wine. Then she went back to the washing up, listening to her mother’s murmurs of reassurance to the frightened young woman at the far end of the room, and wondering what the man called Joseph’s words meant. She had seen that they had brought comfort of some kind to Mary. But what had he meant about it being no ordinary child? Was it to do with the sense of anticipation she had felt?

Ruth had seen newborn babies before, although she had never been present at a birth. She hoped her mother would let her stay up and help. Mary didn’t look much older than she was, and it wouldn’t be very long before she might be married and have children herself.

Her mother came to help her. “It’ll be a while yet,” she said, nodding towards the couple.

“Can I stay and help?” Ruth asked. “Please.” Her mother nodded. “It’ll be good for you to learn.”